Five things

Well, here it is, December 1st, 2023. I am excited about December after a tough fall (but an otherwise good year). A highlight of 2023 was visiting our dear friends Rob and Rachel and their kids in Maine in the summer. While we were there, Rachel and I chatted about collaborating on a blog that would be called Five Things, or some variation on that. Rachel is a brilliant photographer and beautiful writer, and no one bakes anything as good as she does. I still crave the blueberry muffins she made seven years ago.

For various reasons, our project launch has been delayed but I have faith that we will get to it in 2024. Until then, I am going to begin practising for it.

The idea is simply to write about, or share photos of, five wonderful, or poignant, or everyday-but-momentous thoughts, events, interviews, recipes, books, whatever. Our blog will be full of imagination and silliness and things in our heads that need to come out. It will bring joy to us, and maybe to others.

Which brings me to Five Things I'm thinking about today.

ONE

Practice

When we are little, we know all about practising, whether it's piano, balancing, whistling, singing, soccer, or whatever else. It's woven into our days, often at the behest of our parents. Even at that age, we know it's hard. It's nothing like the rush of an ice cream cone, the delight of a movie, or the adrenaline high of a nerf-gun battle. It takes work, and it can be boring and frustrating because the very nature of practice is that you haven't gotten to some perfect end point. It's always a process and usually the gains are gradual. But if it's grounded in passion and linked to a goal, it's tolerable and maybe even more than that sometimes.

As an adult, I am terrible at practising. The fear underlying my perfectionism – fear that I/it will never be good enough – makes me shy away from trying regularly in an area I really care about. I know it's quite possible that diligence will not lead me to what I want, which is to be very good at something. Wouldn't the work be torture, then, if it doesn't lead to that end? What if I just practise, practise, practise, for as long as I live? What if I write and it's just awful. What if, what if, what if ...

Which brings me to my beloved yoga studio, SoulSpeak, owned by the most gorgeous woman, Erin Harris, whose voice is magical. In her classes, Erin either shares what she has written or what others have written before we begin moving our bodies in the hour that we have in the studio. A couple of nights ago, it was a poem called What if. Erin couldn't find the source of the poem and I can't find it either when I search on the web. But here it is, and boy did it hit the spot for me. It helped me to be here today on this blog doing exactly what I know I need to be doing: practising. It won't feel as incredible as when Erin voices it, but it's still worth writing out. The poem is a response to all the times we stop ourselves with negative talk, imagining the worst.

But what if...
everything works out
you have the time of your life

What if...
everyone loves what you do

But what if...
nothing bad happens
your hard work pays off
you find your purpose
it leads to something amazing

What if ...
you stand up for yourself
you use it as a lesson
you can do hard things
you become who you needed all along
you learn to love who you are.

If I were to extend that poem, I might write:

But what if...
It is just practising, practising, practising, for as long as I live

What if...
That was okay

What if...
It felt really good

What if...
I wasn't scared anymore
Not standing beside
Diving in
Not perfect
Finally

*

TWO

SoulSpeak Yoga

Yes, I already mentioned it, but I can't stop at Erin. The instructors are mind-readers, heart-readers. Their words, humour, encouragement, chill. This is unlike any yoga I've done before. Bodies of all shapes and sizes. Shameless wobbling. Breathless soul work. Killer playlists. This studio has been so important to me in 2023, especially given a hugely annoying rotator cuff injury that prevents me from doing a bunch of other stuff. Hoping next year I get to do yoga and my other obsession, boxing with Nicolina, Sarah, and Noura at The Rig. Until then, I will revel in the direction of instructors such as Josh, who encourages us into "nonchalant but earnest" poses (or today I believe the idea was a "ferocious yet gentle" transition); Ali, who reminds us that the very last thing we should be thinking of in yoga is what we look like as we move; and Andrea, who giggles as she proposes really hard sequences ("that I haven't even tried yet!"). So grateful.

THREE

Falafel

If you are vegetarian, falafel can mean a lot to you, probably because you had a to-die for experience eating one somewhere, sometime in the past and obviously because it doesn't have meat in it. But sadly, most falafel is meh, or worse than meh. Dried up, crumbly. Or sodden in garlic sauce, wrapped in soggy pita. But not today. Ohhh, not today. Walking on Wellington I finally popped into Shawarma Al Mouna and I fear it will now be a daily occasion. How much falafel is good for a body? Is there a limit? Al Mouna's falafel wrap is everything I could ever ask for: the tender falafel itself; the mouth-watering layering of garlic sauce (not too much), tahini, pickled turnips, lettuce, tabbouleh, and for me, because I am hot sauce-obsessed, banana peppers; and pita bread, toasted with hints of charcoal. I had to call the lovely owner once I had scarfed it down at home. "Thank you so much, thank you, thank you," he said, and so, I hope, begins the story of how I will finally get top-secret tips from an expert for how to make my hummus less pasty.

FOUR

There is no four, or five, today. I don't have time. But you know what I had time for? One, two, three. That feels pretty darned good.

SoulSpeak Yoga.