How to Give Your One-Year-Old Nightmares

1. Take him to the Stanley Park little farm for kids right before feeding time for the animals
2. Park him in front of a big sheep just before it starts braying
3. Nearly pee when said sheep gets entire farmyard rioting for food—goats, llamas, geese, cows, and especially cocks—which makes one-year-old and indeed all children present cry
4. Whisk him away to the safe haven of the birds and bunnies, and meet irate and hideous-looking male turkey, aka “the gobbler"
5. Run for your lives back the way you came, which is unfortunately right past the still-unfed sheep who by now looks deranged and monstrous
6. Decide to take detour because poor mommy didn’t get a chance to stroke the goats—and isn’t this all about me anyway?
7. Reluctantly abandon goats and take one-year-old one final time—for good measure—past sheep and out exit doors
8. Ask him repeatedly on trip home what various animals sound like, forgetting that "Baaaa" might not be a perfect association just now

Bad parenting 101.

Comments

[Krista]

Hahaha! That's hilarious! Not bad parenting at all, just unfortunate timimg. The fact that you took him to the park is awesome, a lot of kids don't even get that. Sounds like you're doing a great job with the new addition.